And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize