what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
