worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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