if i can run in heels then i can drive
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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