please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize