as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just cut my nipple shaving
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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