I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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