sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
