So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize