just tell him i said nine months
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She's the barista slut.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
