I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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