Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
