I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
