Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
