Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I am never drinking with the goths again.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
