white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
