I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We need to rekindle our bromance
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
