I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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