the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
