ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
