We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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