So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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