3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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