Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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