I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize