you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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