are you still at the devil's house?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
