Where is the hickey?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She's the barista slut.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
