Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize