she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
