then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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