on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize