Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
