Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
