I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
