We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
wow bdsm is so cute
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
