I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Im part way to drunk.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
