is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
