I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
