Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
