Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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