If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
How's work?
Spinning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
