We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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