I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it because I queefed?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
