my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
