Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
"it" just moved
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
