I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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