break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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