Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
