I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
