Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
