That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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