wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
