so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
