**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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